Sunday, May 11, 2014

If You're Going to be Evil Pt. 5

 Once again we listened to Neverwas inane babble claiming his foretold right to being the group leader. The admonishments were heaped greatly upon us all, forcing us back on the righteous (evil) path.

Yeah right...

 As Charlie's eyebrow once again began to twitch due to Neverwas yet again trying to lead our merry band of mass murderers and fondlers. (Biggboy just could not keep his hands off the donkeys) I got Biggboy to execute plan Sigma Ultra Charlie Kilo Island Tango. "Fine fine, we'll be good." I have to say it was amazing to see Charlie be speechless. Oops, looks like I forgot to inform someone about the escalation of our plans.

Be cool, stick with the plan.

God dammit Leeroy

 Charlie leaned back in his chair after my whisper, looking either aggravated for being partially left out or constipated, I was never sure which. Though he knew that it was part of our plan for retribution, you could feel his regret. For the next half an hour, three new angels had gained their wings, completing all the tasks set forward to by our new 'leader'. The only entertainment that was to be had for any of us not trying to tell a stick to be still was Thieves 1 & 2's rapid correspondence with Little Boy.

 I really began to believe that the two of them were trying to recreate 'War & Peace' with the amount of notes that they were sending back and forth with Little Boy. With note cards to pieces of note paper, the notes became more frequent and frenzied. As Thief 2 began to text his own messages while Thief 1 maneuvered behind Little boy to allow for less time between the missives. Suddenly, a mouth breather appeared, "What are you two doing?"

With ingenuity that I always knew they possessed, Thieves 1 & 2 masterfully deflected the question with a simultaneous response, "Nothing..."

Fucking masters of subtlety.

Before any further delving by our 'illustrious' leader could occur, Charlie called for a piss break. Quickly, Biggboy and I cornered Little Boy outside while taking a quick smoke. I let Biggboy do most of the talking, it would be too obvious if Charlie and I were the ones calling for the culling. As I left Biggboy to his machinations, I saddled up to Baby Momma to light up with and bring to the dark side.

Fuck the cookies

As we stood outside the Loser Lounge, I was confused as a car came around the corner to stop before us. Normally, one of our friends would go down and park further down the street as there was no parking at the entrance. Taking a long drag of my menthol, I moved over to see who had pulled up. See, I knew someone in our little group was popular. Unfortunately it was with the police apparently. I paused when I heard the unidentified officer call out for me. 
  As I moved to the driver's side of the police car I noticed Charlie had come outside to gather the smokers and was wondering what the hell I had gotten into. Hell if I know.

More later.


No comments:

Post a Comment