Tuesday, May 6, 2014

If You're Going to be Evil pt. 4

The incessant douchebaggery by Little Boy grew more and more grandiose with his belief of traps, traps, and more traps. Charlie and I watched as Biggboy continued to entertain himself with the more items he could find, such as random fungi and dismembered pieces of former members of the party for his own macabre cache of alchemical ingredients.
 Repeatedly, Charlie and I would have to tell one another that we would survive this dungeon, if for no other reason than to stick it up Little Boy's pretentious ass. With our mantra firmly resolved, we once again maneuvered forward throughout. After the constant traps being placed before us, with nothing else to stimulate our attention, I decided it was time to make our own entertainment. Looking throughout the group, I was searching for someone that might be able to lend their insight into our situation.

Oh look! A Patsy!

After deciding whether or not I should send Thief 2 after Neverwas' woman, honestly I was so bored I considered forming an adulterous relationship between a friend and another's woman. (Yep last time under this DM) I decided it was time for....The Plan. After much cajoling and maneuvering of the other members of the party, it was decided by Charlie and I we had to create and launch a dastardly plan to complete and more importantly survive this dungeon. Even more importantly though, do something make the others realize Little Boy's degradation from mild entertainment into a C-rated soft core that doesn't even give you a chubby.

Wait, that's not... you know what, we'll go with it

As Pony Tail attempted to inform us of some map or item he had found, Biggboy insisted on a song with this little dance from the DM. Now, even though Pony Tail could not carry a tune in a bucket, ,he did marginally well all considering. I was truly amazed when he was able to keep a beat with nothing but his hand and an irrational fear of yet another character death.  Though he was able to tell us about the piece of cloth that he had stumbled upon, it had been so boring that we insisted he keep singing. Due to the monotony of the last 3 hours being broken by something other than 'You have found a trap', it was understandable that we forgot to listen to the instructions he was singing. Honestly, it wasn't our fault.

 As I would keep having Pony Tail change genres that he was singing, Baby Mamma sadly got tired of our fun and began to side with Neverwas and Pony Tail on getting the hell out of Dodge. I realize now that my mind was fogged by sex at this point, but I quickly decided that discretion was the better part of valor (Yes, yes I am whipped). A truer life lesson was hard to find, if you want to keep having sex, don't piss off your woman.

 Imagine our surprise that there wasn't yet another trap, we had actually moved to the final door of this forsaken dungeon. With little difficulty, we finally were able to move from under the ground into the night air, small lights in the distance. It was at this moment that Thief 1 began our glorious and well conceived plan to end our boredom.

More later.

Links to the rest
 If You're Going to be Evil by Dyvers Campaign
 If You're Going to be Evil Pt. 1
 If You're Going to be Evil Pt. 2
 If You're Going to be Evil Pt. 3

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