Thursday, April 24, 2014

If You're Going to be Evil pt. 2

While the others were parading through the town setting it ablaze like a twisted variety show act, I began rummaging through a few of the homes looking for anything significant, thought provoking, or as I really will call it, shiny things. Though nothing solid was found, I couldn't help but laugh as Charlie decided to test his ax on another player this time instead of a run of the mill NPC. As Neverwas was beginning to create his fifth...or was it sixth...character, I moved to join the group as Little Boy began to describe the remains of our 'creativity'.
 As Thief 1 and Thief 2 began to follow my path through the burning remains, (yes they chose to move in after the buildings were in full flame...I know, they're special). During their brilliant exploits, Charlie and Biggboy reminded us yet again that the town was being consumed in lustful thoughts...and a rampaging fire (you say tomato, I say tomahto).

(Doesn't that put you in the mood to?)

As we began to look around for an avenue for escape, Little Boy forgot about the fact he pointed out the extremely subtle plot point of the well.

 Fuck it....should be fun.

 I watched as Charlie and Biggboy decided to toss a druid down the well (who wouldn't?). After listening to the satisfying crunch of a druid and a 90 ft. drop combining at near terminal velocity, I smirked considering this was supposed to be a 'bottomless' pit (which reminds me of this slutty girl I knew in college but that's for later).

(Oh Sweet Succulent Sexy Jesus....)

As we arrived at the bottom, I checked on (looted) the druid, to notice his head cracked like a coconut. 

 Perfect Swan Dive.

 Looking up and noticing the pathway, I watched as Pony Tail moved forward at Charlie's command. Moving through the passageway for him to stop every 5ft. adjustment to check for traps got to be slightly tedious. With nothing happening I couldn't help but get somewhat antsy... Was Little Boy getting....patient?

Charlie looked at me and I leaned in to his shoulder.

Too fucking simple...he has to have something up his sleeve...

 Charlie smirked at me, "Nah, he expected us to play like good little players."

 As we were discussing the oddity that was a 'good little player', Pony Tail grabbed our attention.

 "Found a door," he whispered.

Charlie blankly stared at him for 5-10 seconds before gesturing, "Did you check it for traps?"

...another blank look from Pony Tail....


 I couldn't help it, I face palmed....

Got to love Vidal

 "Then maybe you should do that," Charlie deadpanned.

"Oh, right."

Of course the first door we come across would be trapped. Waiting for the epic thief that Pony Tail was to maneuver us around the mild obstacle, I sighed as he realized his soon to be fatal mistake.

 "Uh...I forgot to buy Thieves' Tools..."

 I double checked my inventory, yep still had the 3 sets. Did I share them? Oh come now, how are you supposed to learn this lesson if you are bailed out every time you forget something that is considered fundamental to your class? As Charlie's eye twitched at the smug look Little Boy was wearing, he leaned over to Pony Tail. Moments later, Pony Tail announced his action.

"I'll use my dagger for an improvised check with the -2 penalty."

The fuck? I looked at Charlie as Little Boy allowed it.

Is that legit, or did you pull that from your ass?

  As Pony Tail opened the door and began to press forward, Charlie gave me a look saying, 'Does it matter?'

Charlie's role model

As others searched the room, I walked to the derelict fountain to relieve myself. I heard Charlie curse when he was splashed with acid. After he healed himself, I knew it was the right decision to keep my tools to myself, the thief was going to die...and soon.

More later.

For Part 3.

Additional Links:
If You're Going to be Evil Part 1

1 comment:

  1. Really now, we both know it's the family motto: If you can't blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!