If You're Going to be Evil Pt. 6

As I moved toward the deputy, I realized that this was going to go one of two ways. Either I was going to make the officer laugh and leave, or I was going to jail. You might wonder how it could be between these two options, but I have a certain flair that will raise your spirits or be considered verbal assault. Looking to the side, I internally cussed as yet again Neverwas stepped back to the others, and I was left to myself to see who was being arrested. Thinking back through the people that were with us, I expected Little Boy or possibly myself or Charlie. It was amazing that I couldn't even see Thief 1 & 2. It seemed they pulled their first passable Houdini escape in their lives. I looked back at Baby Momma cursing under my breath, though she has a dynamite ass, she left me to myself on this one.

Hmm...I'll get her back for that one eventually.

 Moving up, I gave a soft breath out as I noticed Tiger waving at me through the windshield. Luckily I was on his good side and wasn't worried about something going pear-shaped quickly. As I moved around to the driver's side, Charlie came out to join us as Tiger and I struck a conversation. Understandably, being in Small Town USA, he saw multiple people on the street side at 2:00 AM wondering what the hell was going on. After assuring Tiger that there was no drugs being done currently (well, couldn't see where Biggboy had moved off to), the worst we could have been doing was loitering. As the group finished smoking, we began to move back inside after wishing Tiger well for the rest of his shift.

                                           ****

As Charlie sat down beside me, I leaned over to let him know where our options stood.

 Okay, we can gank the pig-fucker, do you think he'd care if I called him a pig-fucker? Well, I don't care if he cares if I call him a pig fucker. So anyway, we can gank the pig-fucker, or let the plan follow through.

 "Well, we can't just gank him in his sleep. He doesn't trust us for that."

 That's why we get Baby Momma to do it.

 "You think she's up for it?"

 Oh yeah. She wants her first PK.

 "Then Baby Momma it is."

 Slowly we began to pass the word throughout the group of what the plan was. I'm pretty sure we went from at one point killing Neverwas 12th character, to mass murder of one of the clergy of Hextor.

 As the watch assignments were divvied out, Charlie kept a watch on Baby Momma as she kept writing. He knew that whatever she was writing would either be amazingly epic, or she had developed Hypergraphia. Knowing he would need to give her a few minutes, Charlie began asking asinine questions to keep Little Boy from progressing through the watches too quickly. Once again, Charlie was able to bring forth a level of bullshit that momentarily stunned the others into confusion. I wanted to take a picture.

Like this, but with more bullshit.

 Now, even though Charlie's discussion was about tribal fertility issues or some such bullshit, I knew that I could not allow him to have all the fun. It truly does us good to be able to distract one of the others so well that they forget their initial plans. Before Charlie could get more in depth with his questioning, I had to make sure we knew about the local grazing patterns of the three horned antelope. Once Little Boy took the bait, I began to argue the validity of the questioning about a fanciful creature inside of a fanciful game (Fanciception).

  

Progressing through a full gambit of horseshit questions, we finally reached third watch. As Little Boy planned to have the watches end quickly, he paused when Baby Momma handed him a 'ninja' note. As he read, then re-read the note, I couldn't help but smirk when I heard him laugh at what was in the note. 

 "You sure you want to do this?"

 She nodded. 

Here we go.

More later

Links:

If You're Going to be Evil Part 1

If You're Going to be Evil Part 2

If You're Going to be Evil Part 3

If You're Going to be Evil Part 4

If You're Going to be Evil Part 5